Loving Life
Current mood: content
Category: Life
I have been thinking and talking w/ Ed, Chip, Stu, and Zac lately about how strange life is. I sometimes feel like life sucks, and how many troubles I've been through and what I have to go through. To put it in one word, EMO!!! If you see me a lot, you will know that most of the time, I'm in a depressed mood. If I can't go somewhere, or meet someone, or do something, I get first pissed, then depressed. There was once a time where I as always depressed, and angry at the world. It got to the point where I was driven to suicide to try to just end it all and I lost the will to live. My best friend died, my mentors were gone, my girlfriend dumped me, and I saw my friends throw their lives down the drain through drugs, alchohol, and partying. I just wanted to die. I thought "what do I have to live for? There's nothing here for me, I have nothing!!!" But for some reason, every time I held the razor blade to my throat, every time I got close to ending it all, something held me back. Something or someone would just not let me actually stab myself. I could not bring myself to do it. Today, as I was reading my bible, it hit me, and i just broke down and cried. I just called out to God, "Lord, I'm sorry for what I've done, what I do. please just help me find Joy, help me find an eternal happiness, help me find meaning." I just lost it all right there. It hit me like a train on a track. I need to love life. I realized, I have people who love me and care for me. I have a forever friend, who no matter what I do, will love me forever. I'm in a good band, with good friends, I have physical fitness, I can skateboard, I can run I can jump! I have eyes to see and ears to hear. I realize how fortunate I am to have parents who love me, friends who will stay with me, and a forgiving God who has shown mercy innumerable times. I have a source of true happiness, true joy. I know that with Jesus Christ, my lord and savior who died for my sins, I am happy. He died for me. He died so I could live. And if for nothing else, that is more than worth living for. Through Christ, I have learned to love life.
Please talk to me about this stuff. As my friends and even you who I don't know, I care. I care about you. So just give me a call, maybe we can hang out, talk over breakfast, whatever. I'll ain't going anywhere anytime soon.
-Mike
Current mood: content
Category: Life
I have been thinking and talking w/ Ed, Chip, Stu, and Zac lately about how strange life is. I sometimes feel like life sucks, and how many troubles I've been through and what I have to go through. To put it in one word, EMO!!! If you see me a lot, you will know that most of the time, I'm in a depressed mood. If I can't go somewhere, or meet someone, or do something, I get first pissed, then depressed. There was once a time where I as always depressed, and angry at the world. It got to the point where I was driven to suicide to try to just end it all and I lost the will to live. My best friend died, my mentors were gone, my girlfriend dumped me, and I saw my friends throw their lives down the drain through drugs, alchohol, and partying. I just wanted to die. I thought "what do I have to live for? There's nothing here for me, I have nothing!!!" But for some reason, every time I held the razor blade to my throat, every time I got close to ending it all, something held me back. Something or someone would just not let me actually stab myself. I could not bring myself to do it. Today, as I was reading my bible, it hit me, and i just broke down and cried. I just called out to God, "Lord, I'm sorry for what I've done, what I do. please just help me find Joy, help me find an eternal happiness, help me find meaning." I just lost it all right there. It hit me like a train on a track. I need to love life. I realized, I have people who love me and care for me. I have a forever friend, who no matter what I do, will love me forever. I'm in a good band, with good friends, I have physical fitness, I can skateboard, I can run I can jump! I have eyes to see and ears to hear. I realize how fortunate I am to have parents who love me, friends who will stay with me, and a forgiving God who has shown mercy innumerable times. I have a source of true happiness, true joy. I know that with Jesus Christ, my lord and savior who died for my sins, I am happy. He died for me. He died so I could live. And if for nothing else, that is more than worth living for. Through Christ, I have learned to love life.
Please talk to me about this stuff. As my friends and even you who I don't know, I care. I care about you. So just give me a call, maybe we can hang out, talk over breakfast, whatever. I'll ain't going anywhere anytime soon.
-Mike
posted by Emery at 20:47
1 Comments:
hey its nice to hear that you have been thinking and talking to people... know that you most definately don't have to do anything rash you have more friends than you think... <3
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